Do You Understand Death?
by nanashiX
Summary: He did not teach me much on our little training trip. He said my hand to hand needed work, he said I needed to think before I acted, and he said he wanted to work on using the fox's chakra. None of these were something I wanted to work on. I took matters into my own hands, but unfortunately seals are finicky little bitches. Dying hurts.


**Another Cliche Resurrection**

 **He did not teach me much on our little training trip. He said my hand to hand needed work, he said I needed to think before I acted, and he said he wanted to work on using the fox's chakra. None of these were something I wanted to work on. A week from now we are supposed to go back home and all I know how to do on my own is use my clones better and a bigger damn Rasengan. I took matters into my own hands, but unfortunately seals are finicky little bitches. Dying hurts.**

 **Xxx**

 **Quick AN and disclaimer: I do not own anything copyrighted. All things that are trademarked are owned by their respected owners. Punch the Limit will be out tomorrow. It has been completed and needs a last look through. Enjoy.**

 **Xxx**

It was dark. It was cold and dark. The blackness spread into the abyss and there was only nothingness. How odd that my mind would think of such profound thoughts. Especially now that everyone who thought I was dumb would never be able to hear me say these things. I couldn't even see my hand in front of my face. It was everlasting, the darkness. Putting my hand down, I could only think of one thing to say, one overpowering line that could sum up my thoughts.

"Fuck it's dark."

"It truly is. Forgive me, let me turn on the lights." I turned towards the voice to see a beautiful girl with flowing silver hair and glowing purple eyes. She wore a religious gown complete with a hood as well. The girl was bathed in a holy light and sat on an elegant arm chair. She waved and gave a shy smile.

"Oh! Uh hello. I thought I died and ya know, was waiting for the pearly gates and all that."

"Ah, well yes you did die actually." My shoulders sagged. So that damn tag really did blow me up. "Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Eris and I am the Goddess of Fortune." My eyes widened at that. I was in the presence of an actual Goddess! Amazing, and she was so cute too. Eris stood up from her chair and gently walked to me. Her steps were so delicate that it was like she was gliding.

"Look, I think this is all a big misunderstanding. I was frustrated because that perv wasn't teaching me, I felt like I wasn't progressing, and I just wanted to see if I could learn some thing on my own. Mistakes were made, mostly from the idiot Sage, so would it be okay if you just send me back?" Eris gave me a sympathetic look and scratched her cheek. That was my move…

"Um, about that." She poked her fingers together and that was never a good sign. "You have already died in your world and unfortunately I am unable to send you back," Eris said. She tried to give a comforting smile but my eye twitch was prevalent.

"What do you mean you can't send me back?"

"Forgive me Naruto, but I can't bring you to the exact time you were in."

"Then send me back in time then!"

"I'm sorry?" Eris questioned. Her face looked so cute when she was confused. "Back in time?"

"Of course! If you can't revive me from where I was then just send me back in time! Right? This is the classic ' _Oh the MC died in the story so we should send him back after seeing how hard his life was with special skills or powers_ ' kind of thing right?" I said. Eris gave me a blank look. "Ok fine. If it's not that then what about ' _The MC dies but is sent to a parallel universe where he actually has a family_ '?"

"Um… no that's not it either. MC?"

"Yeah. You know, main character?"

"You are strange." I shrugged at her words. I was never the most balanced.

"Noted. Does this mean I'm actually going to die? Am I going to be sent to Heaven?" I asked. Eris shook her head at me. This didn't look good. "So, no becoming a cool badass that wields swords?" I received a shrug.

"You could possibly use a sword. Have you, um, have you heard of video games?" I nodded. Video games weren't very popular in the Elemental Nations. They were more of a civilian luxury. Shinobi didn't really have the time or the need for the type of fake euphoria that comes from playing games.

"I have played a few before, but since I was a ninja most of my time was spent training. It gives many of the civilians a chance to fight mythical beasts and monsters with powers that they want." The more I thought about it, a video game was like having my ninja skills but not the consequences of dying if I fuck up. All the fun, but none of the exhilarating danger.

"I may not be able to send you back to your world with all the _things_ you were talking about. However, I can send you to a parallel world where you can live a life of adventure and excitement. You can learn to be an adventurer, or a mage, or even a majestic knight!" Eris' face beamed as she spoke to me. She was so cute. "I am deeply sorry that I can't bring you back, but think of this as a new life!"

"I really didn't want a new life. I wanted to become Hokage, I wanted to save Sasuke, and I wanted Sakura to fall in love with me!" I was frothing at the mouth at the end of my little tirade. Eris took it all in stride.

"Would it help if I gave you a moment to see your friends?" I wanted more than that. Unfortunately, this was my fault and it felt like she was already breaking rules by giving me time to say my farewells.

"Yeah." I sighed. "Yeah, if I really can't go back I would love to say bye to all my friends." Eris smiled and a flash of light blinded me. I had to close my eyes tight lest my retinas burn. A moment later I opened them once more. The sight before me will always stay in my heart. It was beautiful, glorious even. An artist couldn't have painted it better.

"YOU KILLED HIM YOU PERVERTED FUCK!" A girlish scream followed that angry roar. I looked down as the beaten and bloody form of Jiraiya slid to a stop in front of me. His face was swollen, eyes black, and was that a bone sticking out of his shin? My goodness was he a mess. I laughed. I laughed hard. The occupants of the room immediately turned to me.

"Hello all!"

"Naruto!" Tsunade lunged at me and brought me into a bone crushing hug. My face was plunged between her bountiful bosom and I could feel my lungs give out. Oh my God I'm going to die again! "I thought you died!"

" _Can't...breathe!_ " My Hokage, or well former Hokage, let me loose and started to dote on me. She looked worried, scared even. I felt awful for what I did. It wasn't my fault though! That ass hole of a sensei didn't teach me anything. Seems like I had a track record for that. Mizuki, Kakashi, and now Jiraiya. Speaking of the spiky haired scarecrow.

Kakashi was standing to the side, his one eye wide in shock. Next to him was Sakura. Oh she had grown beautiful. Huh, her bust seemed the same though. Well, I was never that interested in the aesthetics of girls. If I was, then I would have gone for Ino. Oh look she is there too. Oh look… holy shit she got hot. No Naruto! Focus!

"Naruto what happened?" I turned to Tsunade. "Jiraiya came rushing back stating that you were missing and all he had found of you was your burnt and destroyed jacket." I looked down. Look at that, I was shirtless. "Were you kidnapped? Did you get into a fight? Naruto, what happened?!"

"Whoa, whoa calm down granny. I'm fine."

"Actually, you aren't that fine." Everyone turned to Eris who waved happily. "Hello all! I am Eris, Goddess of Fortune." Silence answered the girl's greeting. Tsunade turned back to me.

"Naruto…"

"Okay, so funny story! We were supposed to come back in the next week. Or was it two weeks? Anyways, I felt like I haven't learned anything at all from the perv so I wanted to get stronger. The idiot wasn't up to helping, thinking I should focus on my basics, and spent most of his time at the whore houses. Long story short, I tried messing with seals. The only seal I had was an explosive one, and let's just say messing with that results in… well boom." I took a deep breath after talking so fast. The room was silent and I turned to Tsunade. Her form shook. Was she crying?

"You idiot!" Oh god. She slammed her fist into my face and I flew into the wall. Oh my god, it hurts. Everything hurts. When will the pain go, oh it's gone? Ah, that's right I'm dead. I pulled myself from wall and wiped off the rubble. Tsunade had tears in her eyes and everyone else looked appalled.

"You, you died?" Sakura gasped. I nodded. It was all sort of a numb experience. I don't think the idea of me being dead has really hit me. I looked around the room. Other than the bleeding mass of flesh and debauchery twitching on the ground, there was Tsunade, Shizune, Sakura, Ino, and Kakashi. Each of them had a different facial reaction towards the bomb I dropped. Tsunade and Shizune let their tears flow freely, Ino and Sakura were holding one another as sobs escaped them, and the scarecrow had his head tilted down. Oh! Was that a tear drop. Finally showed some emotion you biased mother fucker?

"Please Goddess, is there anything we can do to barter for Naruto's life?" Tsunade pleaded. Her voice cracked with emotion, I honestly felt like the worst kind of person. I didn't mean to blow myself up. I just wanted to get stronger. My shoulders sagged. "He is so precious to me." I'm a dick.

My mood was so low that I almost missed the tinkling sound of Eris' laughing. She covered her mouth with such grace and beauty that it would be a sin a to not smile with her. She wiped a tear from her eye and stood by me.

"Naruto can see you still. He isn't going to be dead. I'm sending him to another world!" The room all gave me a confused look. I shrugged. I didn't know much about what was going on. I wasn't psychic. Wait was I? No, that's crazy. "I have to send him to a different world, but this isn't goodbye."

"I thought you said I couldn't be revived here!" I was fuming. Was our previous conversation basically for nothing?

"I did. I never said you couldn't visit," Eris pouted. Oh. Well she was right. "I can't bring you back whenever you want, but perhaps every once in awhile." Her eyes lit up and a mischievous smirk crossed her face. "I'll make it a bonus if you level up enough."

My eye twitched. This little… so I basically have to level to see my friends again. It's not the worst thing. I still would get to see them some day. It took an hour for me to say my farewells to my friends. I wished I could have said my goodbyes to the others. I wanted to see Iruka, the other teams, and even my little minions. I wonder how Konohamaru, Moegi, and Udon are. I'll see them later.

"Come little Naruto. Time for me to send you off." Eris and I were gone in a burst of light. Actually, we were gone after I smashed my foot into the stupid pervert's balls a few times. Mmm vengeance. We were once more in the dark room, its blackness almost suffocating. Eris lead me forward and the floor lit up. It was so bright, but I was able to distinguish a portal. I peered down the portal and whistled. I was looking down upon a magical world. A flying beast crossed across the portal and I yelped. My feet tripped over themselves and a grunt escaped my lips as my back hit the floor.

"What the hell was that!"

"Oh that was a dragon."

"Dragons exist? Oh hell no! I don't want to be eaten!" Eris giggled and waived her hand at me.

"Those beasts don't actually attack without provocation. As long as you don't bother them, they won't bother you." That didn't sound very promising. However, if I died again because one of those overgrown lizards I'm coming after this girl!

"So do I just jump on in?"

"Mhmm! After you jump, just tuck and roll. You should land in front of the town of Axel." I gazed at Eris, my eyes blank and void of emotion. Did she just say _tuck and roll_? As in fall to the ground.

"Am I gonna die from the fall?"

"Of course not! Have no fear, just think of it as jumping in a pool," Eris said and walked behind me. We both looked down into the new world. "So, have fun!" I felt a gentle push on my back and that innocent push sent me falling into the portal.

"FUUUUUUuuuuuuuu!"

Xxx

"Ugh." I had to force my eyes open and closed them the moment light seared my retinas. It was too damn bright. With a grunt I forced my body up. The world was vibrant and beautiful, and I felt like just being here gave me a new sort of strength. I wanted to explore, but the first thing I needed to do was get to town. Someone there would tell me what the whole deal was around here. If this was a game world like that tiny Goddess said, then there was some type of objective.

I made my way through town and talked to some of the many denizens. They found my choice of clothing a bit strange, but I quite like my new orange track suit! Plus, I think the way people dressed here was insane. The girls here barely wore anything. Was that supposed to be armour?

After getting a basic lay of the land I was directed to the guild hall. It was a pretty big building which screamed _Come visit me_ with the kind of aura it gave off. Well, not much else to do.

Walking in, I was greeted with the bold and welcoming atmosphere of a tavern. People were laughing, drinks were being poured, and a sense of home was prevalent. I liked it. A girl with the lowest cut blouse I have ever seen was the first to notice me. I had to honestly hold my neck muscles to prevent my eyes from looking down.

"Hello there traveler! Are you here for a room, or perhaps some food?"

"Ah no thank you, I was actually told this was the Guild Hall?" Her eyes lit up and a beautiful smile graced her lips. God damn everyone here was pretty.

"An adventurer you say? Well come right this way! We just need to get you registered and find out what you are best suited for," she said and bounced over towards a counter. I followed her and waved to everyone who sent me a smile. It was mostly to try and not stare at this girls short shorts. Who makes these clothes?!

We reached our destination and she held a rectangular card to me. It looked like my old ninja registration. The only problem was that it was blank. She set another object on the table and I gave it a glance. It looked like some strange clockwork globe.

"The registration fee is ten Eris! After that we look at what your class is from this device. By the way, my name is Luna."

"Naruto, nice to meet you. That's interesting that you would name your money after a goddess." I took her hand gently. Oh wow, so soft. She gave me a cute smile while shrugging and I dug into my pouch. Let's see if that Goddess changed my ryo to...well her name. I pulled out a coin I didn't recognize and held in a sigh of relief. Thank you Eris.

"Ah that should be enough!" Luna took the silver coin and in a flash came back with some bronze coloured ones. Guess that was more than ten. "Now if you could put your hand above the crystal we can get started."

I placed my palm over the blue orb and saw it glow. The gears started to turn and a light shot down on my registration card Luna had placed under the globe. It scrawled out letters with the lasers. All seemed fine until I saw the blue globe flash red. It was only for a moment, but I always knew something was up when I saw that red. Luna noticed it, however she said nothing. She probably thought it was a trick of the eye.

The lasers finished their scratching and Luna picked up the card. She looked pretty happy about what was on it. That is until her eyebrow arched in confusion.

"Something wrong?" I asked.

"Oh well it's just something odd. Your stats look good, amazing in fact for traveler who just wanted to pick up adventuring." That's cause I'm a ninja babe. "Your strength is fairly high, but your intelligence is a little low. You probably won't be able to be a mage. But it's your speed and dexterity that are your best stats. With those being your strongest attributes I would say you should go with Thief or an Archer class. You aren't that high that we can bump you up to a second job class, but with these stats it won't take long!"

I ignored the slight about my intelligence and focussed on the positives she said. My stats made sense. As a ninja, I was moulded to be quick and precise. I wasn't as strong as Lee, but my strength should still be good. I was a tank after all. Thinking about it, I'd most likely go with thief. That sounded like the closest class to my field. Well the closest first job class. I did want to know why she was so confused though.

"Luna, I saw how your expression changed. Is there something wrong on my card?" Luna looked embarrassed and seemed at a loss for words.

"Ah, well you see most classes come with skills. They can be active or passive. However, all classes have an attribute. It's like a passive skill made just for them. Like priests are able to regenerate health over time, or how knights can wield shields adeptly," Luna explained. It seemed to make sense so far.

"I understand, but what does that have to do with me?"

"Well you see, uh, you have an attribute already. What's odd is that I haven't set your class yet." I blinked. She handed me the card and pointed to the top.

 **Passive Skill [Resurrected Ninja] -** _ **Pain is Gain**_ **: You remember that Sharingan you always thought was broken and cheap? Well here's what we got for you! You can learn any active skill you come across! Sadly it comes at a cost. We can't make you a little thief without a little risk. You want that skill, you gotta get hit by it first. Oh yeah, imagine how fun that's gonna be!**

I couldn't tell if I should be elated or furious. I think both sounds good. A chance to learn almost any skill? Wonderful! But I have to be hit by it?! What is this bullshit?! I think Luna saw my frustration because she patted my shoulder.

"I'm not sure what any of that means, but you can learn skills! That's cool...right?" She did her best to give me cheerful smile. Oh Luna, I will cherish you. I'm glad she didn't ask about the description. She probably has seen a lot of weirdos in her job here.

"I'll take the Thief class." Luna nodded and she plucked the card from my hand. Her mood brightened when she was able to do something she understood. No having to decipher odd skills. A minute later, I had the card all set and was ready to go. I didn't really want a mission just yet. That is, until an explosion made the earth quake.

"Holy shit fuck! What was that?!" I screamed in panic. Everyone else looked calm and still ready to party. Was this normal?

"Ah that was probably Megumin using her _Explosion_ magic. Kazuma and the gang probably got in over their head," a young man with grayish blond hair said.

"Uh shouldn't someone help them?"

"It's pretty normal. Actually, you should go check it out newbie!" I did not like that nickname. "It'll be good to see some action take place and most of the time Kazuma's missions are pretty interesting.

"Right. Uh, okay, where do I go?" I asked the collected group. Luna gave me that group's mission slip and I rushed off before anyone could say anything else. The people there spoke so highly of this Kazuma person. Who was he?

I had reached the outer walls using the speed borne from training. I was pretty sure I was just a blur to many of the people in town. However, I was not prepared for the sight before me. Three girls, I assumed they were all girls, were being eaten by frogs. Frogs? Toads maybe. It wasn't important. What was important was the fact two were being swallowed head first, one had only her head sticking out, and a boy just a little older than me was running from another amphibian.

"Oi! Don't worry, I'm here to help!" I yelled. I rushed down to the frog thing and pulled a kunai from pouch. I'm not sure how tough the skin of these things were, but stabbing was always a good first choice! My blade plunged into the monster and a cry of victory left my mouth. It was stopped cold as a familiar feeling tickled my skin. I took a sniff.

Ozone. Oh shit. The sky lit up and thunder boomed. A giant yellow circle of runes erupted upwards and I saw a flash of lightning. And here I was, holding metal, on top of the target monster.

The lightning slammed into my body and I screamed. Sparks danced across my skin. My god it hurt! The pain of a thousand suns couldn't compare to this! I felt consciousness slipping. I had to stay up and I needed to make sure my body wasn't completely torched. My eyes felt heavy, but I had to stay awake! Footsteps approached me. A voice brought me from the brink of passing out.

" _Skill [Light of Saber] learned!"_

Fuck this place.

 **Xxx**

 **And scene. So what do you guys think? I decided to try out this idea of a NaruxKonosuba crossover. Ever since I was coerced into watching it by Dadlop. Dick. It was a fun series. Anyways this takes place in the beginning of season two of Konosuba and, well the Naruto one is stated.**

 **Now for those of you wondering and hating on me, Punch the Limit will be out tomorrow ad stated above. It was finished and is being looked over by my betas for spelling and/or grammar mistakes. Hope you guys like both PtL and the new idea!**

 **NanashiX**


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